The bong patrol
by clara200
Summary: The title says it all. Just for fun.


The Bong patrol

Okay if you are a big Redwall fan and think this is going to be serious then think again. Contains drug references and all sorts of insanity. Sorry if I mess up the accents. I'm not use to doing Redwall fics.

In the great Abby known as Redwall young ones known as dibbons were running around like mad beasts. They were bored and it was raining. A vixen was trying to make them behave. "You stupid little brats behave or you will starve." One of the dibbins named Thornback who was a hedgehog cried, "Will not you need us to be well." The vixen was just about to knock him out cold for impudence when a large creature walked in. "Hmmth Carmtel you can watch these stupid lot." As she walked away to get some October ale to calm her down. Carmtel walked forward. He was a large hare with a strange garment on that bright multi-coloring. "Hello there! Would you a story and all that." The dibbons cheered "Yah story! Story!" The hare sat back and started to speak. "I will tell you how this the vermin came and took over." 

It was a warm summer afternoon and there was a slight breeze rustling the trees. "Get on with it!" Cried a young otter. The hare glared at him and 

Continued. There were reports of a large pack of vermin in the woods that were part of a horde that attacked Mossflower earlier in the season so some hares from Salamandastrom were sent to check on this. The hares were Shades who was good with the saber and sword, Hawkeye who had good eyes on him and a good shot, and Theresa a female hare they were tracking down the vermin. "I hope these vermin are not far I'm tired and this may of well been a silly joke we haven't seen any vermin aside from that lot that tried to jump us earlier. They were mighty surprised when they say us. Scared them well I'd say." Laughed Shades. Hawkeye quickly went over and covered his mouth. "Shhh! I hear some voices and they sound like vermin." 

Theresa went first and peered through the bush. "They look like the vermin from Yarkins horde. I wonder why they are still in Mossflower?" Shades pulled away from Hawkeye. "Sah I don't mind you telling a folk to be quiet but don't cover my mouth bad form and all" Hawkeye just looked at him. "Cause you don't be quiet the whole mountain was begging for me to take you so they could get some peace." Theresa came out of the bushes "Shh! Both of you or I will gag you myself." Hawkeye ignored her and went into the bush and peered through. The vermin camp was small with only two tents. Two stoats were roasting a small crow that they must have caught. Hawkeye felt a hand touch his shoulder he leapt up and grabbed his saber. " Steady there old chap it's only us." Said Shades. Theresa smiled. "There are only a few of them this should only take a minute we can be back before dinner." Hawkeye was more cautious. "We should still be careful you never know." But Shades walked straight into the camp. 

"Hello nice weather. Wot wot. The vermin looked at him they were nervous. Theresa and Hawkeye followed him. "I said be cautious not walk straight into there camp." Reprimanding Shades. Shades was a reckless sort always getting into trouble and not thinking first. "You vermin were warned earlier about leaving Mossflower. Why are you still here?" Demanded Hawkeye. The larger stoat stood up looking around and shuffling its feet. "We'd run into woodlanders they attacked us. We had to run please leave us alone." The stoat's breath reeked in fact the whole camp stunk. " Phew this place stinks worse than the vermin." Commented Theresa. They inspected the so-called camp. The half moth eaten blankets that served as tents had nothing in them. They had only one dull dagger between them. Shades found some strange spiky looking plants. "Hey what's this?" One of the plants was missing leaves and there were pieces of rolled up paper next to it.

One of the stoats ran over and touched the plant "Leave it alone." He snarled. The hares looked at each other. Why were the stoats making a big deal about a plant? "Okay I don't think your going to do anything but be gone this is our last warning." The stoats quickly gathered what measly belongs they had and took the crow off the fire as they left. They forgot one of the plants. Shades picked it up I wonder what it is?" Theresa looked up at the sky. "It's getting late just take it with you if you are so keen about it." They left taking the small plant. If they only knew how dangerous that plant was. 

Okay after this it starts to get interesting. 


End file.
